Welcome to nowhere
If
you struggle to find Transnistria or Somaliland in an atlas, there's a
reason: they don't officially exist. But can you holiday there? Gwyn
Topham reports
 |
| Cold war ... Simon Reeve in Nagorno-Karabakh, whose borders are lined with Armenian snipers |
For many travellers, a place might as well not exist if it isn't
listed in the local Lonely Planet. But there is another level of
non-existence: a whole swath of regions, conflict areas and breakaway
states, off the political map, unrecognised by the international
community, where people stubbornly continue to live. These are the sort
of places Simon Reeve has chosen to visit.
Welcome to
Transnistria, a self-proclaimed state in a Soviet time-warp on the edge
of Moldova; to Somaliland, struggling for independence and international
recognition, where a doctor doubles as the foreign minister; to
Nagorno-Karabakh, whose borders are lined with Armenian snipers as Azeri
refugees vow to reclaim their land.
These destinations feature in the latest series of the BBC's Holidays in the Danger Zone, programmes described as "current-affairs travelogues" where gunmen and poverty are recurring themes. They may not be high on many tourist itineraries, but Reeve says many of these places can - perhaps should - be visited.
"Up until recently, going to Peru and Thailand was exotic, on the edge of exploration - now you go there on your gap year as an 18-year-old, and there's a Boots on Ko Samui. So if you want to push the boundaries a little bit more, where do you go?" In Reeve's case, breakaway republics in the Caucuses and disputed territories in Africa and Asia.
There have been some fabulous traveller's tales and encounters en route - from buying fake passports and drinking snake's blood to finding a field full of abandoned missiles. Having a camera was a double-edged sword, Reeve says; it got him incredible access in some places, but also made others suspicious. He describes the trips as a bit like going away with a few mates and making a video diary - except few have such surreal moments as suddenly being in the lift chatting with one president, or going fishing with another.
But could anyone, without BBC credentials, really just go there? "Yes, absolutely! Lots of places you can just wander in. You'd have to be the sort of person who doesn't need a Thomson holiday rep to show you around, sure. But you'd also find your money went a lot further."
And, he says, the scenery is pretty special. "Azerbaijan, Armenia, Georgia, the central highlands of Taiwan - they're stunning, the sort of stuff that makes you go - [mimes jaw dropping]."
It should be stressed that, having been to Mogadishu en route to Somaliland - "You're either fine or you're killed" - Reeve may not have the same conception of a dodgy place as the rest of us. He is also the veteran of trips through central Asia for a previous series, Meet the Stans, and has paddled through Borneo looking for Al-Qaida training camps while researching his book on Bin Laden, The New Jackals - published in 1998 and which came to belated international attention after September 11.
Reeve, who
started his career in the postroom at the Sunday Times and never got on
a plane until he was 19, says: "I love the fact that I've been able to
go to the last remaining outposts of the Soviet empire, the Stalinist
empire, remaining on earth, in Transnistria. And Somaliland was quite
inspirational ... what the locals have achieved there is extraordinary."
He watched Michael Palin when he was younger, "like everyone else", and now clearly fancies a shot at his job. "Wouldn't it be fantastic?" he sighs, staring dreamily into the distance.
Perhaps he could already replicate the Palin effect by opening new areas to travellers. "I love the idea that in 10 years Somaliland may have international recognition, and people can go and see its fantastic beaches. An acre wide, sand between your toes. I can see that happening one day, yeah."
Reeve's tourist guide to places that don't exist
Somaliland
"There are decent hotels, and not just by my standard of sleeping in a shithole. They'll arrange a guide and transportation for you. Number-one attraction is the people - I know that sounds corny, but they are inspirational. That aside, there's the rock paintings, the finest Neolithic paintings in the whole of Africa. They've only recently been discovered by a French archaeologist and no tourists go there to see them. So for people who are lucky enough to go, you're seeing a totally untouristy sight. You're driving through the African bush and you get to a village, and you go and see these paintings that are thousands and thousands of years old, and you just look at them in wonder.
"Even on the way to them you'll see pre-Islamic burial sites, and you just realise you're travelling through an ancient land which we really know nothing about now. The views are fantastic, and you've got the sea: coral, mangrove, paradise islands just off the coast."
· Fly with Daallo airlines from Kenya or Djibouti.
Taiwan
"A fantastic tourist destination so long as there's no war with China, which admittedly will cause a few problems ... Because the Taiwanese saw themselves as China's natural rulers, they have been obsessed with preserving the heritage. The Chinese have knocked a lot of things down; if you travel round China, you're seeing megalopolises. In Taiwan you'll see the authentic temples that have disappeared from the mainland. The landscape is lush, and you've got history and architecture there as well."
· KLM fly to Taipei via Amsterdam and Bangkok.
Georgia's breakaway republics
"Georgia does have a lot of tourist sights: mountains, monasteries, skiing in winter, lakeside beaches in the summer. It's the birthplace of Stalin; you've got Stalin's museum, where you can go and do what I did and sit on his personal toilet when the guards aren't looking, and imagine Stalin's bottom gracing this seat of power and privilege.
"In South Ossetia admittedly, there isn't an awful lot to see. But you will get a South Ossetian stamp in your passport. And some ex-Soviet stuff - well, a lot of it is almost still Soviet.
"Ajaria has been brought back into the Georgian fold. There are health resorts on the Black Sea; it was a destination for Soviet holidaymakers, and has a great climate in the summer. It's not going to be Club Tropicana, right?
"I'd love to tell you more about Abkhazia but the day before we were due to go, they said we're not going to let you in because we've had some internal warfare in our government. But I'm told it's beautiful. Some say it was the home of the Golden Fleece, and the original garden of Eden."
· Fly to Tblisi via Amsterdam with bmi and KLM. An overnight train to Ajaria costs about £6. South Ossetia and Abkhasia are best visited from Russia.
Transnistria
"You could probably get here for a long weekend. From Chisinau, the Moldovan capital, you can just get a bus or a taxi to Transnistria for the price of a bag of chips. If you're on the bus, just sit at the back and keep quiet. But even being stopped by the Transnistria immigration officials is going to be a fun experience; if you're the sort of person who's prepared to go there then you want that sort of thing."
· Malev Hungarian Airlines fly to Chisinau via Budapest.
Nagorno-Karabakh
"I would caution about going here because morally the situation is very questionable - although it's a very beautiful place. "
· Entry via Armenia.
· The UK Foreign Office advises against travel to Somaliland, South Ossetia, Abkhazia, Nagorno-Karabakh, and advises caution in Transnistria, although tensions have recently eased in Ajaria. In addition, the UK has no diplomatic relations with Taiwan.
Reeve's top tips
* In these countries $5 goes a long way.
* If you want to see something, you might find there are "special entrance fees" that will get you in.
* You probably need a visa - but the rules are fairly flexible; you aren't going to Sweden.
· Simon Reeve's new 5-part series, Holidays in the Danger Zone: Places that Don't Exist, begins Wednesday May 4 on BBC2 at 7.30pm.
These destinations feature in the latest series of the BBC's Holidays in the Danger Zone, programmes described as "current-affairs travelogues" where gunmen and poverty are recurring themes. They may not be high on many tourist itineraries, but Reeve says many of these places can - perhaps should - be visited.
"Up until recently, going to Peru and Thailand was exotic, on the edge of exploration - now you go there on your gap year as an 18-year-old, and there's a Boots on Ko Samui. So if you want to push the boundaries a little bit more, where do you go?" In Reeve's case, breakaway republics in the Caucuses and disputed territories in Africa and Asia.
There have been some fabulous traveller's tales and encounters en route - from buying fake passports and drinking snake's blood to finding a field full of abandoned missiles. Having a camera was a double-edged sword, Reeve says; it got him incredible access in some places, but also made others suspicious. He describes the trips as a bit like going away with a few mates and making a video diary - except few have such surreal moments as suddenly being in the lift chatting with one president, or going fishing with another.
But could anyone, without BBC credentials, really just go there? "Yes, absolutely! Lots of places you can just wander in. You'd have to be the sort of person who doesn't need a Thomson holiday rep to show you around, sure. But you'd also find your money went a lot further."
And, he says, the scenery is pretty special. "Azerbaijan, Armenia, Georgia, the central highlands of Taiwan - they're stunning, the sort of stuff that makes you go - [mimes jaw dropping]."
It should be stressed that, having been to Mogadishu en route to Somaliland - "You're either fine or you're killed" - Reeve may not have the same conception of a dodgy place as the rest of us. He is also the veteran of trips through central Asia for a previous series, Meet the Stans, and has paddled through Borneo looking for Al-Qaida training camps while researching his book on Bin Laden, The New Jackals - published in 1998 and which came to belated international attention after September 11.
Reeve, who
started his career in the postroom at the Sunday Times and never got on
a plane until he was 19, says: "I love the fact that I've been able to
go to the last remaining outposts of the Soviet empire, the Stalinist
empire, remaining on earth, in Transnistria. And Somaliland was quite
inspirational ... what the locals have achieved there is extraordinary."
He watched Michael Palin when he was younger, "like everyone else", and now clearly fancies a shot at his job. "Wouldn't it be fantastic?" he sighs, staring dreamily into the distance.
Perhaps he could already replicate the Palin effect by opening new areas to travellers. "I love the idea that in 10 years Somaliland may have international recognition, and people can go and see its fantastic beaches. An acre wide, sand between your toes. I can see that happening one day, yeah."
Reeve's tourist guide to places that don't exist
Somaliland
"There are decent hotels, and not just by my standard of sleeping in a shithole. They'll arrange a guide and transportation for you. Number-one attraction is the people - I know that sounds corny, but they are inspirational. That aside, there's the rock paintings, the finest Neolithic paintings in the whole of Africa. They've only recently been discovered by a French archaeologist and no tourists go there to see them. So for people who are lucky enough to go, you're seeing a totally untouristy sight. You're driving through the African bush and you get to a village, and you go and see these paintings that are thousands and thousands of years old, and you just look at them in wonder.
"Even on the way to them you'll see pre-Islamic burial sites, and you just realise you're travelling through an ancient land which we really know nothing about now. The views are fantastic, and you've got the sea: coral, mangrove, paradise islands just off the coast."
· Fly with Daallo airlines from Kenya or Djibouti.
Taiwan
"A fantastic tourist destination so long as there's no war with China, which admittedly will cause a few problems ... Because the Taiwanese saw themselves as China's natural rulers, they have been obsessed with preserving the heritage. The Chinese have knocked a lot of things down; if you travel round China, you're seeing megalopolises. In Taiwan you'll see the authentic temples that have disappeared from the mainland. The landscape is lush, and you've got history and architecture there as well."
· KLM fly to Taipei via Amsterdam and Bangkok.
Georgia's breakaway republics
"Georgia does have a lot of tourist sights: mountains, monasteries, skiing in winter, lakeside beaches in the summer. It's the birthplace of Stalin; you've got Stalin's museum, where you can go and do what I did and sit on his personal toilet when the guards aren't looking, and imagine Stalin's bottom gracing this seat of power and privilege.
"In South Ossetia admittedly, there isn't an awful lot to see. But you will get a South Ossetian stamp in your passport. And some ex-Soviet stuff - well, a lot of it is almost still Soviet.
"Ajaria has been brought back into the Georgian fold. There are health resorts on the Black Sea; it was a destination for Soviet holidaymakers, and has a great climate in the summer. It's not going to be Club Tropicana, right?
"I'd love to tell you more about Abkhazia but the day before we were due to go, they said we're not going to let you in because we've had some internal warfare in our government. But I'm told it's beautiful. Some say it was the home of the Golden Fleece, and the original garden of Eden."
· Fly to Tblisi via Amsterdam with bmi and KLM. An overnight train to Ajaria costs about £6. South Ossetia and Abkhasia are best visited from Russia.
Transnistria
"You could probably get here for a long weekend. From Chisinau, the Moldovan capital, you can just get a bus or a taxi to Transnistria for the price of a bag of chips. If you're on the bus, just sit at the back and keep quiet. But even being stopped by the Transnistria immigration officials is going to be a fun experience; if you're the sort of person who's prepared to go there then you want that sort of thing."
· Malev Hungarian Airlines fly to Chisinau via Budapest.
Nagorno-Karabakh
"I would caution about going here because morally the situation is very questionable - although it's a very beautiful place. "
· Entry via Armenia.
· The UK Foreign Office advises against travel to Somaliland, South Ossetia, Abkhazia, Nagorno-Karabakh, and advises caution in Transnistria, although tensions have recently eased in Ajaria. In addition, the UK has no diplomatic relations with Taiwan.
Reeve's top tips
* In these countries $5 goes a long way.
* If you want to see something, you might find there are "special entrance fees" that will get you in.
* You probably need a visa - but the rules are fairly flexible; you aren't going to Sweden.
· Simon Reeve's new 5-part series, Holidays in the Danger Zone: Places that Don't Exist, begins Wednesday May 4 on BBC2 at 7.30pm.
